basahin daw... mahaba (super haba pala...) pero may matututunan. pag nabasa nyo na, pa-summarize. hehehehe Ü
QUESTION: How do you catch the RIGHT one?
Simple : You take only the bus that's headed the
RIGHT DIRECTION.
First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the
picking.And second, the decision for a mate must be
madeon a spiritual and intellectual basis before its
made on an emotional one.
What about love?, you ask. I'll tell you why. "The
heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?(Jer 17:9).
The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda.
It does not consider things rationally and intelligently
- it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point
it in the right directions: "Above all else, guard your
heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23).
Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance
from God, check out his attributes, and then allow
your heart to engage.
Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting
data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship,
courtship and then marriage.Friendship is two people
walking together in agreement and accountability,
learning and growing together. Courtship follows
the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively
- it is the decisive turning toward theagreed
-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of
laying a foundation and preparing your life together after
marriage. But dating? Well, if you do date, use the
time wisely togather facts.
So when you do gather facts, let us compare the
process to clothes shopping.
1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate
material? Does this man have an intimate
relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ?
Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he
accountable to God as well as another co-laborer
in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It
is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship.
Is your potential spouse a member of the same family
- the family of God? Scripture is clear on this :
"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers" .
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in
common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"
(2 Cor 6:14).
You need to have common interest and values and
agree on the essentials of living day to day.
You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same
diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have
like interests, like goals in life, like opinions
on basic life issues. You have had like experiences
in your background. Though there is some truth to the
idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare
better together. Furthermore, does he want to get married?
If you want to be married and your dreamboat isn't
interested, don't waste your time.
Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men
decide to get married and then look for a wife.
Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's
not looking for anything serious, take his words
seriously. If he's not going your direction,
get off the bus & wait for the right one.
2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The
man who is right for you will pursue you and
God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No
guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture
says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good
and receives favor from the Lord"( Prov 18:22).
Note - who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE.
From the beginning of time, God has transported
men & women across the world in order to put them
together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man
on the scene and he will find you.
In God's perfect design, the man is the one who
recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing
that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to
strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't
have to help a guy out because he's shy. Men will
do whatever they have to do to get what they
truly want.
The man in your life should recognize you as the
pearl of great price in his life and be willing
to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand.
If he is passive about gaining your affections,
take it as a sign that he is not interested.
Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good
idea to marry a man who loves you more than you
love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might
be scriptural if you stop to think about it : "We
love him because he first loved us" (1 Jn 4:19).
Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You
don't need a bunch of men in your life to make
you feel all right about yourself. You need only one
man- your man, the one God has selected to select you.
And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can
be just as awful as thewrong man at any time.
So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate
match ker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found.
Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions.
He should take the lead in establishing the relationship.
You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God
will use the man to set the tone of the relationship.
Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your
first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for
all men to follow. They should love us first.
And they should lead the relationship.
3. The man in your life should not desire to move
into your house, only into your heart. A man who
prepares for your future has made his intentions
clear. A man who is husband material has the means
to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human
being who understands he needs to have something
to offer. In short, a man should have the means to
be a suitable lover for you.
4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of
the same feather flock together, yet most women
fail to see the connection between a man and his
friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the
person that you haven't seen yet. They reveal things
about the guy's character that might be hidden when
he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put
his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot,
check out the rest of the body!
5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How
does he treat her? This is your preview of how he
will treat you. There are lots of men who, because
of a negative relationship with their mothers, really
don't like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues
between mother and son continue between husband and wife.
6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth
from which he's cut. Take note and decide whether
you want your future with the man in your life to
look like his present family situation.
7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see
repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom
broken relationships? problems in making commitments?
including the job market? mood swings? Is a problem
always someone else's fault? Does he embrace
responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises?
Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments
look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear,
some being to unravel. Give yourself time and space
to check out the man in your life. Time will
always reveal whether or not he is made of the
right stuff.
8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he
running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam
needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment.
As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is
busy doing what he was created and called to do. Is
your guy guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or
does he just allow life to happen around him? A man
who is not certain of his mission can be a most
miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you
know where YOU want to go in life. A man who has vision
is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is
clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and
assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man
who cannot be supportive of your achievements
because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty
over his own life is not a healthy partner to have
and to hold forever. Creating dependencies or feelings
of obligation is not the way to get the best out of
your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you
and flee from the smothering burden of obligation
he associates you with. You want a man who is firmly
anchored in his identity in Christ. Remember, we are
looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his
home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you,
redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide
if this is the man God has ordained for you to
complement.
9. Complementarity. Do your talents and gifts
complement his? Do his gift complement yours?
What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of
you as an effective team capable of bringing
blessing to the lives of those around you? Do your
futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an
attractive and effective way? This is why knowing
your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts
beat for mutual causes. When I go shopping always
consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have
in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complementary
addition to what I already have? If I find that I am
going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to
go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is
too expensive a proposition.
If the man you meet makes you feel that you need
to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong.
This is where I ask you to consider the relationship
in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually,
emotional or physically? Does your longing for a
mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process?
Or does he see you as the gift that you are?
The man in your life should consider you a rare
find, a priceless jewel - because of you he is getting
ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that
causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable,
undesirable or that you have to work for love, is
too expensive!
God has called the man to cover, protect and
provide not only materially for a woman, but
emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be
richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the
man of your dreams. The man in your life should make
rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not
withdrawals.
10. Does he have a healthy love & acceptance of
himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken
time to heal from past relationships and has made
peace with himself. How he cares for himself is
how he will care for you.
A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His
love for himself will only be as strong as his
love for God. This is not something that you can
impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That
is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place
as your personal priest, he should be leading
you to a richer relationship with Christ. If he is
causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize
your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or
causing you to be distracted from your commitment
to Christ, the relationship is too expensive.
Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you
eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride
that has a limited run.
If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit, when
the force of your love for another is tested by the
pull or gravity of the world, your union will
not be able to survive.
So you decide. How much is your life worth? How
much is your love worth? You will be able to accept
only what you believe you deserve. God himself
calculated the worth of your love and decided it
was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for
eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all
others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride.
Should you expect less from a mortal man?
Throghout the biblical age, men were willing to
pay the cost for the hand that they desired.
The truth of the matter is, everyone knows that
anything worth having, costs. And no one gets a
ride in this life for free.
Wed Sep 27, 2006 4:06 pm
kind of confusing). Above all else, consider God. 
di nmn cguro.. assuming?? bida ka jan?? ano ito extra challenge?? hehehe 
biro lng ulet po.. uy walang personalan dito ah.. banggitan b nmn ng gnto.. hahaha baka judging na yan 
